Neighbours

Apparently, the 6000th episode of the Australian soap has just been shown on TV "Down Under": 5Live this morning asked listeners for their favourite moment . . . here's mine, although it's a little tentative.
   When I was living in Swindon in the '90s, my girlfriend, with whom I was living at the time, asked me to record that day's episode . . . we had cable TV (is that still around?): so,  I set the VCR with the correct time, but sadly the wrong channel . . . never understood why, that evening, she was less than keen to watch 30 minutes of news . . . in German. God, she was gorgeous . . . wonder what happened to her?
   As we're on the subject of TV, while writing this "Relocation, Relocation" is on in the background . . . those two are so f***ing smarmy, it beggars belief . . . and if that tart uses the term 'crash-pad' once more . . .

Road Safety

My kitchen window looks out onto a world which is mostly composed of the junction of Newtown and Gloucester Road . . . it could be any junction in any town in the country . . . but from my viewpoint I swear I see more assholes than any proctologist might throughout their entire career . . . surely that text that you're trying to send can't be that important, my love . . . and well done to you, sir, for managing to squeeze through that gap - pretty topical, as if you carry on like that, you'll end up being fed through a tube . . . and it'll be no more than you deserve!
   A friend of mine told me yesterday that she was, quite rightly, crossing Wingfield Road at a green light, but this apparently meant bugger all to the motorist who went through the light, narrowly missing her . . . I might be pontificating here, but I also stand guilty of not observing courtesy to other road users - or do I? It's just that I do feel a little self-aware when walking on the cycle lanes . . . the cycle lanes which I've always understood were pavements! Cyclists of Trowbridge! If you haven't got the balls to use the roads, then for pity's sake walk!!

Firstly . . .

. . . welcome one and all, to the place where I can vent my feelings on topics that either delight or rile me . . . these are many and varied, but will be tackled (probably through the medium of insane ranting) as and when occasion arises . . . I'll try to tailor my observations so no-one is offended (while various topics are being belittled), but, in the words of the Chuck Berry song, "You Never Can Tell" (if you're unfamiliar with this song, it's the one that John Travolta and Uma Thurman danced to in the scene from "Pulp Fiction") . . . I freely also admit that there'll be many a digression . . . and might I add that I'll attempt to be as lucid as possible . . . readers will not find the use of "text-speak" here . . .
   So, here's an observation from last Saturday, when West Wilts' top light entertainment & pop combo 'Gypsy' played at the Avon Sports Club in Bradford-on-Avon . . . parents really should put more thought into the appearance of girl toddlers aged around 12-18 months . . . admittedly. a very pretty party frock . . . but your daughter looks like a miniature Raoul Moat . . .